the signpost

the signpost

Avatar for the signpost

Home: Derby
Been on the island since 2008-12-23
Died: 109 times (last time was 2014-05-06 02:05, killed by a tiger)
Level: 34
Class: Explorer (outsider)
Primary Clan: Shartak Road Crew
Underworld: http://underworld.shartak.com/?id=17462
Deadzone: http://shartak.aphlor.org/deadzone/view/17462

Description:

Stuck in the ground is a makeshift sign. It reads "Scavvy Pumpkin Juice Is Best.". The signpost has a rifle slung over it. It also appears to have been gnawed on and then polished. (see Saga for explanation)
---
Has never been seen moving or doing anything, but mysteriously moves around and does various other things through unknown means: it appears to communicate by somehow changing what is written upon it. It it believed to often erect others of it's kin, though none of it's offspring have been seen taking on apparent sentience.
---

The saga of the signpost:

-
Stuck in the ground is a makeshift sign. It reads "Greetings, human, nice to see you. I am currently constructing roads to connect the villages and town of the island."
-
"Since your last move:
Last Laugh squints and tries to read the signpost, "Let's see... greetings humans, something something, road construction, blah blah blah. Boring." (2012-01-24 00:01)
Last Laugh takes out a knife, "I bet I can think of a more worthy message for the signpost to reveal." (2012-01-24 00:02)
Last Laugh carves the writing off the sign post. (2012-01-24 00:02)
Last Laugh attacks you with a knife for 2 damage. (2012-01-24 00:03)
Last Laugh carves something onto the signpost, it reads, "Last Laugh is a dickhead." (2012-01-24 00:03)
Last Laugh attacks you with a knife for 2 damage. (2012-01-24 00:04)
Last Laugh stands back to admire his work, "Excellent... now everyone will know the truth... that, wait... what did I write?" (2012-01-24 00:04)
Last Laugh says damn it all.” (2012-01-24 00:05)"
-
You hear Rob Davidson whisper “Hi!” with a slight accent. (2012-01-31 20:02)
Rob Davidson says “Oh. A signpost. What's it say?” with a slight accent. (2012-01-31 20:03)
Rob Davidson says “Who writes that stuff? Let me cross that out...” with a slight accent. (2012-01-31 20:04)
Rob Davidson carves carefully yet swiftly. "Poison wine is good for the heart and soul." (2012-01-31 20:04)
Rob Davidson says “That'll do!” with a slight accent. (2012-01-31 20:05)
Rob Davidson pats the signpost and walks off. (2012-01-31 20:05)
-
The Prisoner staggers by, taking a pull from a bottle of absinthe. Something in his blurred peripheral vision draws his attention to a particular signpost. (2012-05-30 15:13)
The Prisoner pins the signpost with his drunken glare, fumbling towards it with curious intensity. (2012-05-30 15:14)
The Prisoner says “Bloody thing moved!” (2012-05-30 15:16)
The Prisoner says “The hell sorta savage magic is this? What's that message ye' got thar, let's see...” (2012-05-30 15:18)
The Prisoner leans forward awkwardly and struggles with the words..."P...Poison w...wine is g...ooo...d foor the fart and smell." (2012-05-30 15:21)
The Prisoner sniffs his armpit and kicks up a cloud of dirt in a rage. (2012-05-30 15:21)
The Prisoner says “Tha's a load of hogshit if I ever seen it! We'll have ter change that.” (2012-05-30 15:22)
The Prisoner says “Don't want any of these simple folk 'round here gettin' the wrong idear and all tha'.” (2012-05-30 15:23)
The Prisoner draws a large hunting knife out of his worn leather boot and begins scraping off the writing. (2012-05-30 15:24)
The Prisoner takes another pull from the bottle, dribbling some on his chin as he fumbles over on his side. (2012-05-30 15:25)
The Prisoner says “I said stop fuckin' movin' already, bloody hell. How ye' spect me ter write if ye' keep jumpin' round all froggy like?” (2012-05-30 15:25)
The Prisoner lurches back onto his feet, leaning in to carve a new message with the precision of a butcher in a bumper car. (2012-05-30 15:27)
The Prisoner mouths the words as he carves them. (2012-05-30 15:27)
The Prisoner says “The Prisoner ♥ Shaweeri” (2012-05-30 15:28)
The Prisoner puts some finishing touches on the heart and gives it a slobbered and stanky kiss, following by a long, disheartened sigh as he steps back from his masterpiece. (2012-05-30 15:29)
The Prisoner says “There we are, my love.” (2012-05-30 15:30)
The Prisoner caresses the sign one last time before slumping his shoulders and carrying on towards the bar. (2012-05-30 15:31)
-
Roman Totale gives you a piece of dead wood. (2012-08-15 18:11)
Roman Totale gives you a piece of dead wood. (2012-08-15 18:11)
Roman Totale gives you a piece of dead wood. (2012-08-15 18:11)
Roman Totale gives you a piece of dead wood. (2012-08-15 18:11)
You hear Roman Totale whisper “Go forth and multiply ” (2012-08-15 18:12)
-
(on IRC, 08/19/2012):
19:58 Miejoe *scribbles Miejoe wuz here xxx on the signpost*
19:58 Miejoe Also, M <3 W.
19:58 Miejoe And a kitteh.
19:58 Miejoe Plus flowers, for good measure.
-
Since your last move:
Ada Lovelace licks the signpost (2012-09-04 11:36)
Ada Lovelace says “you taste very nice signpost boy” (2012-09-04 11:37)
Ada Lovelace hacks "I love signpost boy" into the signpost with her cutlass (2012-09-04 11:37)
Ada Lovelace attacks you with a cutlass for 2 damage. (2012-09-04 11:38)
Ada Lovelace attacks you with a cutlass for 2 damage. (2012-09-04 11:38)
Ada Lovelace attacks you with a cutlass for 2 damage. (2012-09-04 11:38)
Ada Lovelace attacks you with a cutlass for 2 damage. (2012-09-04 11:38)
Ada Lovelace attacks you with a cutlass for 2 damage. (2012-09-04 11:38)
Ada Lovelace attacks you with a cutlass for 2 damage. (2012-09-04 11:38)
Ada Lovelace attacks you with a cutlass for 2 damage. (2012-09-04 11:38)
Ada Lovelace attacks you with a cutlass for 2 damage. (2012-09-04 11:38)
Ada Lovelace attacks you with a cutlass for 2 damage. (2012-09-04 11:38)
Ada Lovelace attacks you with a cutlass for 2 damage. (2012-09-04 11:38)
Ada Lovelace says “I am worn out now, signpost boy. I'm going to eat an egg. Do you like eggs? Would you like a eggy signpost boy?” (2012-09-04 11:39)
Ada Lovelace says “Whoops, I did eat all the eggs. You can stroke my beautiful hair with your little wooden fingers while I sleep if you like though.x” (2012-09-04 11:40)
Ada Lovelace curls up at the foot of the signpost and drifts off to sleep (2012-09-04 11:41)
Ada Lovelace says “Goodbye signpost boy. When you miss me too much, you can use this to end the pain!” (2012-09-04 20:46)
Ada Lovelace throws a pistol and a bullet on the ground beneath the signpost (2012-09-04 20:46)
-
Mr Scavvy says “A magic signpost? Well now here is a better advertising opportunity than all of the damn parrots on the island put together.” (2012-11-05 12:17)
Mr Scavvy says “I've tried teaching those bloody birds to spread the word about my juice but all they spout is gibberish.” (2012-11-05 12:22)
Mr Scavvy pulls out his knife. "Now lets see here" (2012-11-05 12:24)
Mr Scavvy scrapes off the old message and then carves a new one that reads, "DRINK SCAVVY PUMPKIN JUICE FOR EXTRA VITALITY" (2012-11-05 12:28)
Mr Scavvy says “Almost done” (2012-11-05 12:28)
Mr Scavvy carves a second line that reads, "Available only at Scavvy Farm" (2012-11-05 12:31)
Mr Scavvy says “Now some free samples” (2012-11-05 12:32)
Mr Scavvy ties some bottles onto the signpost. (2012-11-05 12:33)
Mr Scavvy gives you a bottle of pumpkin juice. (2012-11-05 12:33)
Mr Scavvy gives you a bottle of pumpkin juice. (2012-11-05 12:33)
Mr Scavvy gives you a bottle of pumpkin juice. (2012-11-05 12:33)
Mr Scavvy gives you a bottle of pumpkin juice. (2012-11-05 12:33)
Mr Scavvy says “Right then magic yourself away somewhere populated.” (2012-11-05 12:34)
Mr Scavvy takes a step backwards (2012-11-05 12:34)
Mr Scavvy says “Alakazam?” (2012-11-05 12:35)
Mr Scavvy says “No? Bah. With my luck when I turn my back you'll vanish off to some godforsaken spot of jungle no one will ever venture though. Or you'll be leading cannibals back here.” (2012-11-05 12:41)
Mr Scavvy says “Well stay or don't. I've got work to do.” (2012-11-05 12:44)
Mr Scavvy says “Still here? Ah well suit yourself then.” (2012-11-05 12:59)
-
Rock Stoner uses a first aid kit on you and restores 7 health. (2012-11-22 13:38)
Rock Stoner says “well well well, if it ain't that freaky signpost tha healed me a while back, 's time ah returned tha favor!” (2012-11-22 13:41)
Rock Stoner does something unspeakable, an abomination to human and signpostkind alike (2012-11-22 13:42)
Rock Stoner scratches something onto a crudely made sign. (2012-11-22 13:42)
Rock Stoner adds 1 skull to the signpost. (2012-11-22 13:42)
Rock Stoner says “was it good for you too?” (2012-11-22 13:43)
Rock Stoner passes out, several empty bottles smelling of fungi fall from his bag (2012-11-22 13:46)
-
Etamoop Yum licks the signpost (2013-06-02 15:36)
Etamoop Yum says “Hmm. Splinthers.” with a slight accent. (2013-06-02 15:36)
Etamoop Yum uses a healing herb on you and restores 10 health. (2013-06-02 15:36)
Etamoop Yum uses a healing herb on you and heals your old wound. (2013-06-02 15:36)
Etamoop Yum kills the tiger with a wooden club. (2013-06-02 15:36)
Etamoop Yum kills the tiger with a wooden club. (2013-06-02 15:37)
Etamoop Yum gnaws on you for a while (2013-06-02 15:37)
Etamoop Yum uses a healing herb on you and restores 10 health. (2013-06-02 15:37)
Etamoop Yum uses a healing herb on you and restores 10 health. (2013-06-02 15:37)
Etamoop Yum uses a healing herb on you and restores 10 health. (2013-06-02 15:37)
Etamoop Yum uses a healing herb on you and restores 2 health. (2013-06-02 15:37)
Etamoop Yum takes a bit of beeswax out of her bag and gives you a little polish (2013-06-02 15:38)
Etamoop Yum says “That's better.” with a slight accent. (2013-06-02 15:38)
-
the signpost starts acting very strangely. (2013-06-28 03:59)
You feel an unknown force take control of your body. You say “wheeee!” (2013-06-28 03:59)
You feel an unknown force take control of your body. You say “I better start making more signposts! Geez, I need to find a female signpost to mate with!” (2013-06-28 03:59)
You feel an unknown force take control of your body. You say “That will surely help me!” (2013-06-28 04:00)
The ghostly voice of Suzzette says “Hmm, If I had a body right now, the things I'd do to you! I just love a big signpost! *blushes*” (2013-06-28 04:00)
The ghostly voice of Suzzette says “Keep up the good work!!! Toodles!!” with a slight accent. (2013-06-28 04:01)
-
the signpost starts acting very strangely. (2013-07-14 11:49)
You feel an unknown force take control of your body. You say “BWAHAHAHAAHA!” (2013-07-14 11:49)
The ghostly voice of Suzzette says “Ohh! It's you again!!” (2013-07-14 11:49)
The ghostly voice of Suzzette says “I see that you still have not found a Miss Signpost yet! I'm willing to hel;p you with that with all means possible! I shall use my shaman powers and ...” with a slight accent. (2013-07-14 11:50)
The spectral figure of Suzzette thinks for a moment (2013-07-14 11:50)
The ghostly voice of Suzzette says “Oh yes! I shall summon some spirits and use a female spirit to go inside a signpost to be a female signpost! Then...THEN...I shall seal the spirit inside the signpost therefore turning it into a...” with a slight accent. (2013-07-14 11:51)
The ghostly voice of Suzzette says “MRS. SIGNPOST!” with a slight accent. (2013-07-14 11:52)
The ghostly voice of Suzzette says “Then, and only then shall you really take over the wilds and roads of Shartak!” with a slight accent. (2013-07-14 11:52)
The ghostly voice of Suzzette says “All Hail the Mighty Signpost and his spawn of Shartak!” with a slight accent. (2013-07-14 11:52)
-
Mr Scavvy says “Back again? Well I see you're still spreading the word of the goodness that is Scavvy Pumpkin Juice.” (2013-08-17 16:40)
Mr Scavvy says “Good stuff.” (2013-08-17 16:40)
Mr Scavvy says “Do I have to have to scratch my answers onto you? No?” (2013-08-17 16:41)
Mr Scavvy says “Anyway, I keep the jungle from swallowing my farm. And I keep the path clear to Durham. ” (2013-08-17 16:43)
Mr Scavvy says “Not that it helps much.” (2013-08-17 16:43)
Mr Scavvy stares a moment at the magic signpost. (2013-08-17 16:43)
Mr Scavvy says “Maybe I should have persevered with the parrots.” (2013-08-17 16:44)
Mr Scavvy says “Bah and maybe I'm a madman speaking to a possessed bit of wood.” (2013-08-17 16:44)
Mr Scavvy says “Or maybe that last batch of pumpkin juice was bad.” (2013-08-17 16:45)
Mr Scavvy says “Hah. Not my juice magic signpost. Scavvy Pumpkin Juice is the best there is.” (2013-08-17 16:45)
Mr Scavvy says “So maybe you've come back for some fine Scavvy Pumpkin Juice” (2013-08-17 16:48)
Mr Scavvy says “I'll just tie some on.” (2013-08-17 16:48)
Mr Scavvy gives you a bottle of pumpkin juice. (2013-08-17 16:49)
Mr Scavvy gives you a bottle of pumpkin juice. (2013-08-17 16:49)
Mr Scavvy gives you a bottle of pumpkin juice. (2013-08-17 16:49)
Mr Scavvy says “Well I can't be standing about here all day. I've got work to do.” (2013-08-17 16:51)
-
You sense that John Cutter carves "O'neils an asshat, now go give John cutter a heavy sword. (2013-09-28 23:22)
-
MacKenzie says “Er... a signpost?” (2013-11-27 02:14)
MacKenzie says “Oh. And it has a message on it...” (2013-11-27 02:14)
MacKenzie says “Oh. Well, I doubt O'neil appreciates that.” (2013-11-27 02:15)
MacKenzie scratches out the old message. (2013-11-27 02:16)
MacKenzie writes out a new message with his knife. (2013-11-27 02:19)
MacKenzie carves "I'm a Scottish Man; Writing a Haiku about; Rifles, I like them." (2013-11-27 02:20)
MacKenzie gives you a rifle. (2013-11-27 02:21)
MacKenzie says “That ought to be good. Goodbye, signpost.” (2013-11-27 02:21)
MacKenzie begins to walk away, but then stops; realizing he just talked to a piece of wood stuck in the ground. (2013-11-27 02:22)
-
GunBunny says “Have you ever thought of putting up signs that said "Do not knock down my signs to avoid a irrevocable curse"?” (2013-12-08 13:20)
GunBunny says “or "WARNING! Children left unattended will be sold to the circus"” (2013-12-08 13:20)
GunBunny says “or "We love kids BUT please keep yours by your side. Unattended kids will be given a shot of expresso and a free puppy."” (2013-12-08 13:20)
GunBunny says “By the river you could put up a sigh that says " CAUTION! Do not drink water. Alligators crap in it."” (2013-12-08 13:21)
-
Monkeyslayer enters, squinting in the dim... (2013-12-08 22:59)
Monkeyslayer takes note of the beautiful woman asleep...and the good looking dude, also asleep, but apart from the woman... (2013-12-08 23:00)
Monkeyslayer scratches his stubble, perplexed--then takes note of the sign post. (2013-12-08 23:01)
Monkeyslayer crouches beside it, observing it as though some alien artifract, or monolith...he reaches slowly, tentatively... (2013-12-08 23:01)
Monkeyslayer traces his fingers over the many layers of carvings. Presently, he nods, producing a small blade of his own...and goes to work... (2013-12-08 23:02)
Monkeyslayer spends a short time working then, finally, he looks to the two sleeping again, nods, and blows the excess dust away from the letters: (2013-12-08 23:03)
Monkeyslayer says “Edwin and GunBunny should make up and share a bed...think of the beautiful kids you'd make, and the fun you'd have making them!” (2013-12-08 23:06)
Monkeyslayer nods at the sign, and whispers "And they wouldn't look like monkeys." (2013-12-08 23:06)
Monkeyslayer says “He shudders, and steps back into the early morning light.” (2013-12-08 23:07)
-
Last Laugh stumbles on the sign post. "Oh, hello old friend. I wonder if I have anything to write today. Anything important to say..." stares off in a south easterly direction. (2014-01-01 17:26)
Last Laugh scratches away at the sign post. It now reads, "You've complimented my style and taunted my cowardice, I'm of the opinion that you're the most beautiful woman on the island." (2014-01-01 17:28)
Last Laugh punctuates his message with a ton of hearts. (2014-01-01 17:29)
-
Mr Scavvy says “Back again magic signpost. Or are you a completely different magic signpost? No I think you must be the same one.” (2014-01-15 13:42)
Mr Scavvy reads the signpost. (2014-01-15 13:43)
Mr Scavvy says “Well that's clearly not intended for me so if you've been tasked to deliver that message you're in the wrong place.” (2014-01-15 13:43)
Mr Scavvy says “Or perhaps you've already delivered it and are in want of a new message.” (2014-01-15 13:43)
Mr Scavvy furrows his brow. (2014-01-15 13:43)
Mr Scavvy says “Yes that must be it. Well then I've got a message you can deliver to everyone.” (2014-01-15 13:44)
Mr Scavvy says “You can spread the word of the finest of juices.” (2014-01-15 13:44)
Mr Scavvy says “First I'll patch you up a bit” (2014-01-15 13:44)
Mr Scavvy uses a first aid kit on you and restores 2 health. (2014-01-15 13:44)
Mr Scavvy says “And now.” (2014-01-15 13:45)
Mr Scavvy produces a knife and sets about replacing the message. (2014-01-15 13:45)
Mr Scavvy says “I'll be needing a drink of it myself after I finish this.” (2014-01-15 13:45)
Mr Scavvy finally steps back and admires his handiwork. (2014-01-15 13:46)
Mr Scavvy says “"Drink Scavvy Pumpkin Juice. It's the best." ” (2014-01-15 13:46)
Mr Scavvy says “Good good. Nice and simple. Well magic signpost off you go. No wait a moment. Almost forgot.” (2014-01-15 13:47)
Mr Scavvy gives you a bottle of pumpkin juice. (2014-01-15 13:47)
Mr Scavvy gives you a bottle of pumpkin juice. (2014-01-15 13:47)
Mr Scavvy gives you a bottle of pumpkin juice. (2014-01-15 13:47)
Mr Scavvy gives you a bottle of pumpkin juice. (2014-01-15 13:47)
Mr Scavvy ties a few bottles onto the signpost. (2014-01-15 13:47)
Mr Scavvy says “Now you can go.” (2014-01-15 13:47)
Mr Scavvy says “Or not. Stay as long as you like.” (2014-01-15 13:53)
Mr Scavvy says “But I've got work to do. Pumpkins won't juice themselves.” (2014-01-15 13:55)
-
You hear Stolhim whisper “hello” (2014-01-18 19:54)
Stolhim uses his dagger to scratch off the writing on the signpost and carves "Out for lunch" (2014-01-18 19:58)
-
Dakbunny uses a first aid kit on you and restores 3 health. (2014-02-01 06:08)
Dakbunny notices some faded words and retraces them (2014-02-01 06:13)
-
V2Blast swings a jolly jack o'lantern around. (2014-03-18 21:39)
V2Blast says “Ooh. A magical signpost. I wonder what I should write...” (2014-03-18 21:44)
V2Blast takes out his knife and scratches off the existing writing, then changes it to read “This island needs some more apple pie.” (2014-03-18 21:46)
-
Mr Scavvy says “Hello magic signpost. Back yet again. I suspect you'll be wanting more of my famous Scavvy Pumpkin Juice. Very good, I have some right here that I can tie onto you. And I see you have been defaced.” (2014-03-26 20:30)
Mr Scavvy says “Here let me fix that for you as well.” (2014-03-26 20:31)
Mr Scavvy carves a new message that reads, "Scavvy Pumpkin Juice Is Best." (2014-03-26 20:31)
Mr Scavvy gives you a bottle of pumpkin juice. (2014-03-26 20:31)
Mr Scavvy gives you a bottle of pumpkin juice. (2014-03-26 20:31)
Mr Scavvy gives you a bottle of pumpkin juice. (2014-03-26 20:31)
Mr Scavvy gives you a bottle of pumpkin juice. (2014-03-26 20:31)
Mr Scavvy ties several bottles of Scavvy Pumpkin Juice onto the magic signpost. (2014-03-26 20:32)
Mr Scavvy says “Safe travels, magic signpost.” (2014-03-26 20:50)


To recognise this person in the future, you can add them to your contact list.
Comment:


200 characters left.
to contacts as a contact.


Achievements:(11 total)
Old One Novice Healer April Fools 2012 8 years old
Areas explored: 2486 (68.5% of island)
HP Healed: 2052
Trading Points: 350
Spirits Exorcised: 0 (not a shaman)
Wailing Damage: 0
Ritual Feasts: 0 (not a cannibal)
Mentioned in 0 profile

The following extended statistics are since 1st Jan 2011.

Alcohol Brewed: 0
Alcohol Drunk: 102
Heads Collected: 0
Fruit Juiced: 0
Successful Possessions: 0
Tracks Found: 1
Fires Started: 16
Fires Extinguished: 26
Items Buried: 17
Items Found: 5004
Jungle Chopped: 27941
Parrots Tamed: 0 (not a pirate)
Signposts Built: 1558
Signposts Smashed: 19
Treasures Found: 0 (added 2014-07-14)

NPC kills: 1; last kill: wild boar
 Animals: 1
 Shamans: 0
 Traders: 0
Natives killed: 0
 Raktam: 0
 Dalpok: 0
 Wiksik: 0
 Rakmogak: 0
Outsiders killed: 0
 Derby: 0
 Durham: 0
 York: 0
 Shipwreck: 0
NPC kills (detailed):
NameKills
wild boar1

Skills:

This character has indicated they have peaceful intentions and would prefer not to be killed.

This character has been idle since 2014-05-09.

Random profile Profile search Help/Wiki Forum Contacts Return to Shartak Your Account
Cookies are in use on this site! Essential ones allow you to login. Google Analytics cookies allow us to monitor how you use the site. Other cookies are for adverts and Facebook social features (eg Like and Login)